One Friday night found me taking tickets at the Moore Theater for the Gordon Lightfoot show. The audience, just like Mr. Lightfoot, appeared to be long past the age of rebellion, an observation that only tells part the story.
Based on my bantering with them as they passed through my door they still had youthful sparkle even with all the wild grey hair, canes, and walkers. Sometimes the conversations were poignant such as the gentleman who had made arrangements for his friend, who soon would be dead from cancer, to meet Mr. Lightfoot after the show. Other conversations were equally memorable for reasons that were wholly unexpected.
A woman and man, apparently a married couple, approach my door…
“Good evening folks”
The wife acknowledged me with a quick tip of the head and positioned herself so her husband would enter the door after her.
“The man has the tickets”, she said.
“I am glad we have it cleared up that he is a man,” I said as he fumbled around with his wallet.
Seeing an opportunity to have a bit of fun I said to him, “That is so generous of you to give me your wallet, and yes, I will take it.”
“He is pretty generous person, for a man” the wife said.
The Man paused for a moment and looked down at the wallet in his hand and then looked me squarely in the eyes, “I know you, you’re one of my ex-wives!”
His wife rolled her eyes at him with one of those please honey, no, no, no looks while I quickly responded with a “yes dear how you been and yes, I still want the wallet.”
By this time he had found the tickets and had them in one hand and the wallet in the other. He quickly pulled the tickets back towards his chest signaling to me we were not quite done.
“Dear,” he said as he lifted the wallet up so it was perfectly centered between the three of us “do you remember the definition of divorce?”
My eyes at moment got quite wide and I meekly said, “No but I am afraid you are going to remind me.”
Lifting up the wallet to eye level he shared his definition, “A divorce is when a woman reaches into a man’s back pocket and rips out his wallet out through his testicles!”
I stood there for a moment, stunned like a duck hit on the head, unable to speak and then I quickly recovered, “Oh. (pause – eyes really wide). Can I have your tickets please and you can keep the wallet.”
In the remaining moments before they left my door The Man became instantly a smart ass boy utterly and completely pleased at his ability to blindside me.
Copyright 2012 By Katherine Johnson – All Rights Reserved.