My Shadow – Wilson Pacific School – 1330 North 90th Street – Seattle, WA
Producing a publication like this is a huge challenge to stick with it on a regular basis: creating for the pure joy of creating something is still work. However, in that work comes a stiffing of my skill set and the confidence to work quickly.
That later notion, of working quickly, leaves very little time to contemplate what I am shooting, the editing, the writing and the polishing. This whole process takes but a few hours and in a manner, what I do is improvisational visual arts and writing. It is essentially done in one take and then it’s on to the next topic – that is the nature of producing an internet based publication – nobody cares a whit about what you have done but only what you have just completed. The life cycle of an image and the text is also but a few hours before it dies.
Still I feel compelled to aim high and try to produce work that would be identical to what I would create if I had days instead of hours, an editor instead of intuition, and the luxury to revisit an idea. But I don’t. I am just now beginning to let go of caring about that. What I have learned over these last few months is that I have reasonably good well from which to draw creative water and that it has a distinct flavor, some pure and some impure. What I am driving at here is that I see a distinct style developing and the inherent limitations that come with that.
I work at not being limited by what talents I have, but in the end, I am pretty sure I will find that struggle to be a waste of time. I am neither a gifted photographer nor a gifted writer when you get right down to it. But I don’t worry that about anymore; I used to worry about that and I found all I created was a pile of worry while everybody else shot pictures and wrote about life. I am not sure what changed but I did wake up, said screw it, and began running amok. I haven’t looked back once. This blog is the surfacing of that specific change. Today I find that I have more to say than I have hours. I am damn lucky; I hope that well stays flowing.
Artists tend to live rather blindly; if they didn’t they wouldn’t get good at what they do. The artists I have known tend to be obsessive-compulsive whack jobs, which I find to be utterly elegant, grand, and wonderful. There is downside to all this: artists tend not notice all the unsaid things that come along with their main message. The audience picks up on all these things while the artist remains blissfully clueless thinking they own the message. It is the audience that is the smart while our favorite obsessive-compulsive whack job stays trapped by his or her nature.
My Shadow is my hat tip to you that I am aware of this bargain and that I rather enjoy that deal even if it means my deformities, hidden only to me, are on full display.
Thank you for being my audience and inspiring me to work hard, fast, with purpose, and yes, with a great amount of obsessive-compulsiveness.
Copyright 2012 By Katherine Johnson – All Rights Reserved.