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By Katherine Johnson

Three Cows – Along Dusty Road – Dusty, WA – Whitman County

Cows.

Much of the Western United States is open range county which means they, the cows, get the run of the place pretty much like millionaires at some fancy ass health spa. For the record both groups, more or less, mostly more, eat the same thing.

They have specific rules regarding how they wish to interact with people such as only in the middle of some random dirt road. A further refinement of the rules and an example of cow humor is they love to surprise humans by placing the herd just behind the crest of a hill or blind curve. They are quite the scamps.

Once an encounter ensues they love to engage in diplomacy and negotiation for the territorial rights to the road, and much like the North Koreans, consider it perfect form to stomp feet, wag tails, and wiggle ears as part of the process.

Yelling, swearing, horn honking at them is highly counter productive as it only gives the humans high blood pressure; the Cows could care less, and I have it on good authority, that they love it when a human blows a gasket.

What does work is to get out of your car and coo at them with sweet nothings such as “How about coming to my place and be diner?” or “I once was a vegan but I am off the wagon, are we clear.”

Cows.

Yes, Cows.

Copyright 2016 By Katherine Johnson – All Rights Reserved

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